I Did The Thing I Swore I Would Never Do
Why I watched the 'How to Train Your Dragon' live-action remake
We live in terrifying times for the blockbuster. The final Mission: Impossible movie was bad. Jurassic World: Rebirth isn’t getting an IMAX release. And everywhere you look, there is a live-action Disney remake starring Gal Gadot.
Long have I decried Hollywood’s pivot to farting out a live-action version of every recognizable children’s IP to turn a profit at the box office. The films are usually ugly with cheap costumes and CGI scenery. They devalue the potent art form of animation, while still relying on animators to create “life-like” versions of Stitch or Simba or the Seven Dwarfs (which specifically haunt my nightmares). But the worst crime of all is that these films are incredibly lazy. Failing to recapture any of the artistic value of their animated predecessors, they are the shadows on the wall in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave.
So I swore an oath against corporate greed: never will I give a dime to watch a live-action remake.
Then came How to Train Your Dragon (2025).
I’ll admit, my interest was somewhat piqued. The decision to bring back the director of the original animated film, Dean Deblois, was interesting, as well as casting Gerard Butler to revive his role as Chief Stoic. The trailer later revealed the film to almost be a shot-for-shot recreation. Clearly, DreamWorks had learned from the criticism of other remakes and was attempting a faithful adaptation for its first foray into the live-action world. But ultimately, I shrugged it off. So maybe it wouldn’t be offensive, but it was still valueless.
Then, on a recent visit to the IMAX at AMC Lincoln Square, instead of being shown the remake’s usual trailer, someone in the DreamWorks marketing department had the brilliant idea to show us the infamous “Test Drive” sequence as a trailer instead. It’s the most memorable part of the original, where Hiccup rides Toothless for the first time and their bond is cemented in a cinematic flight sequence set to John Powell’s unforgettable score. And seeing it—filmed specifically for IMAX—on that huge screen, I felt a little breathless. Wait… did I… want to see this movie?
No. This couldn’t be. What about my oath?
Desperately, I tried to rationalize it. You are just nostalgic for the original. Watch the animated version, and all of this will go away. So that’s what I did. I rewatched How to Train Your Dragon (2010), hoping to soothe my soul. And it worked! I hadn’t seen the animated film in probably a decade, and it was even more wonderful than I remembered. The writing is clever and emotional, and it accomplishes all those beautiful things only animation can, like endearing us to a pet dragon.
So, I successfully stopped thinking about the live-action remake. However, now I had a new problem: I was far from contented. I needed more. Thankfully, the animated film is the first of a trilogy, and I relished in watching the other two for the first time. The trilogy is incredible for many reasons, but for the sake of time, I’ll state just this: Hiccup is one of the few animated characters whom we see grow up. He starts as an awkward and unconfident teenager, and by the third film’s final scene, he has become a chief and a father. We see his relationship with himself, his community, and most importantly, with Toothless, mature into something beautiful. If you think I didn’t sob at the ending, do you even know me?
Having concluded the films, I was finally ready to return to my normal, dragon-free life. Except, I wasn’t. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about how good they were, and how I wished there was a way to watch more.
And that’s when a dark thought crept into my mind. Well, there is one way.
Fuck it.
I was going to watch the How to Train Your Dragon live-action remake.
So I sat my little hypocrite ass down in the IMAX to watch the first live-action remake of my entire life. And it is hard to admit this publicly, but—I had a good time!
Its faithfulness to the original earns it points, because while it adds nothing, it does the nearly-impossible job of not detracting either. The film is well-acted, too. Its young stars, Mason Thames and Nico Parker (whose thirty minutes of screen time in The Last of Us I still think about), are charismatic and capable of translating dialogue written for voice-over into livable moments on screen.
The movie is not amazing by any means. The costumes come across as cheap, cosplay-esque imitations. And more egregiously, Toothless is rendered somewhat flat, losing a lot of his personality to an uncanny-valley feeling from his “realistic” animation. The studio, no doubt learning from the mistake of Sonic the Hedgehog, recreated him faithfully in CGI. Yet, in this live-action world, it doesn’t quite translate (especially when they’ve decided to redesign the other dragons).
However, those problems melted away when I just allowed myself to be entertained. The score is bigger. The set pieces are well-crafted. The jokes still land. And every flight, fireball, and dragon battle is genuinely thrilling when viewed in IMAX. Plus, hearing the couple next to me gasp at the film’s final reveal when Hiccup wakes up in his bed (something I won’t spoil just in case you might have the same experience), it reminded me that while a live-action remake is the antithesis of originality, it can still serve as someone’s entry point into an original story.
So, do I feel shame for having enjoyed myself? One hundred percent. I feel like I just woke up in bed next to Big Hollywood, and instead of cuddling, they were already pulling on their pants and calling the Uber.
But that’s modern life. I took an oath against greed, and then I went back on my word when presented with something shiny. However, this doesn’t really change my opinion. I still think the live-action remake is a soulless pursuit. But does it matter what I think? In this age where cinemas are struggling to stay in business, if this is what keeps the lights on, maybe I should let it be.
Universal Pictures has already greenlit an adaptation of the sequel. While I don’t think I’ll be running to view any live-action remakes in the meantime, please don’t say a word if you find me seated for How to Train Your Dragon 2 in 2027. Sometimes, it’s just better to give in.
Overheard at AMC Lincoln Square 13
As Nicole Kidman decreed: We come to this place for magic! Here’s the magic that happened at the best movie theater in NYC this past week:
As I was entering the theater to see 28 Years Later, the ticket taker told me: “You always have such great taste in movies.” A man paying attention to me? #gettingmarried
In case you don’t know, Rihanna is Smurfette. After watching the trailer for the new Smurfs movie, a woman next to me said in disgust: “So this is why we don’t have that album?”
There’s a heat wave in NYC this week, and the movies are the perfect place to go for free AC. If you need me, I’ll be at the AMC for a double feature with a cherry Icee in hand.
What Else I Watched This Week
Materialists (2025) - ⭐⭐⭐.5
Celine Song’s follow-up to Past Lives (the most emotionally devastating movie of 2023) is less personal and more academic as it explores the woes of modern dating. I enjoyed the script, but I found the cast sometimes unable to support it, especially Chris Evans, whose veneers and Turkish hairline are distractingly incongruent with his starving-artist character. (Viewed at AMC Lincoln Square).
Echo Valley (2025) - ⭐.5
Sydney Sweeney screaming at a full 10. Julianne Moore playing a lesbian. It’s a shame that two things that I would normally love on screen could not save this thriller from being boring. (Viewed at home on Apple TV+).
28 Years Later (2025) - ⭐⭐⭐
I didn’t connect with Danny Boyle and Alex Garland’s 2002 zombie classic, 28 Days Later. However, I found their latest entry in the series to be more emotionally affecting (if a bit uneven in its tone). The real draw is its stars, Jodie Comer and Ralph Fiennes, who were acting boots. (Viewed in Dolby at AMC Lincoln Square).
Elio (2025) - ⭐⭐⭐.5
Pixar’s newest entry about a young boy desperate to be abducted by aliens, is just as funny and emotionally stirring as the studio’s recent predecessors. However, its box office numbers are pretty abysmal, so I hope word of mouth can help it find its audience. More people need to know about Glordon! (Viewed in Dolby at AMC Lincoln Square).
wait do I want to see it now lol